I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they’re here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were 15 or 18. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It’s like looking at all the students and wondering who’s had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why.
I know there are times when I’m actually hard to be with. You fall in love with someone who has so many problems and I just want to say thank you for being there for me despite that reasons not to. I have a lot of flaws that could have pushed you away, but you’re still there, trying to keep me.
I like a guy who pays attention to the smallest details. It’s cute when a guy knows the little things you like, hate, and small random facts about you. It’s nice if they don’t just pay attention to the big things and actually know you. It’s such a surprise to hear them when they know something about you that you didn’t even know that they knew. Thanks for that!
No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales. That fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
Please be patient with me. I’m so afraid to care about someone. I know it seems like I’m this strong girl who can get through everything, but inside, I’m very fragile. I’ve had so many things thrown at me & each one has only made a crack. Now I’m afraid.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
And we couldn’t wait to grow up.
There is no perfect relationship. Bullshit will come up when you least expect it. Jealousy will come out of nowhere. At times you will feel replaced and at times you will feel like giving up. Just don’t go that far. Don’t give up. You’ll argue, and you won’t talk for days, but nobody says it has to be over.
The 122 things I love of you.
1 That you still try.
2 The way you won’t tell me what my present is no matter how many times I ask.
3 That you’re my prince.
4 The way you accepted me when I couldn’t accept myself.
5 When you tell people that you going to marry me.
6 How you never gave up on me.
7 When you look at me from the corner of your eye and wink.
8 When you tell me things about you that you’ve never told anyone before.
9 When you move your face closer to mine and make eye contact while we talk.
10 When you see me in the hallway and just smile from ear to ear.
11 When you hug me tight and say “Mine”.
12 The way you tickle me with your unshaved chin.
13 The way you dance like a dork to cheer me up.
14 How you stay texting me ultim I’m ready to go to sleep.
15 When every one of our attempted conversations ends with me in your arms, our lips pressed together.
16 My messiness and immaturity, emotions and temper be everything you needs.
17 The way you always apologize, even though I am the one who’s wrong.
18 When you do that cute shy smile.
19 The way you look at me after we kiss.
20 How much you want to watch Disney movies with me.
21 The way you pull me back to you when I try to run away.
22 The smell of you on my clothes.
23 How your hugs make me feel safe.
24 The way you always have tears of joy in your eyes.
25 When you know every detail about me. Not because I keep reminding them, but because you pay attention.
26 That you are my best friend in the whole world.
27 How you make me feel like I am the only girl in the world.
28 How even though you’re super busy with school, job, family and friends, you still find time for us.
29 That your smile is the prettiest smile I have ever seen.
30 How you see your entire life with me by your side.
31 The way you know me better than I know myself.
32 How you support and encourage me to continue with my schooling.
33 How you forgive me every single time I do something stupid.
34 When you text me just right after we part ways.
35 The way you walk closest to traffic when we walk.
36 When you kiss the top of my head when we’re cuddling.
37 For some reason you’re the only exception to my rule.
38 When you tell other people about all the things you love about me.
39 You are the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me, and you will always have me.
40 When you stick your lips out in a funny way and wait for me to kiss you.
41 The look in your eyes when you tell me you love me.
42 The way you’re always there for me.
43 How much you enjoy my laughter.
44 How you want me to tell you when I get home so that you know I’m safe.
45 The look in your eyes when you know there’s something wrong.
46 When you make a fool out of yourself just to see me smile.
47 He brings out the best in me.
48 Yes I love him. I love him more than anyone else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever.
49 How you wait until midnight and text me “Happy Birthday”.
50 When you sing in the wrong tone.
51 The way you makes me smile.
52 When you post sweet statuses/tweets about me.
53 How you make sure to tell me wherre you are and when you’ll be back.
54 When you say how much your life changed since you’ve met me.
55 How you can always make me laugh even if I’m in a bad mood.
56 How you make a complete fool of yourself to try to make me smile.
57 How you love to bite me.
58 When you say I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
59 The way you kiss my hand.
60 How you get along so well with all my friends and family.
61 The way your smile makes me remember why I fell for you in the first place.
62 The way you still text me “Good morning” every single day.
63 When you tell me that I’m your everything.
64 The way you randomly send me tweets saying that you love me.
65 That you never take off the necklace and ring I gave you.
66 When your sentences start with “When we have kids or our own…”
67 When you make me feel like you want me to be a part of your life forever.
68 WHen you send me voice notes ‘cause I miss your voice.
69 When you send me voice notes from your little cousins.
70 The way you get jealous and try to hide but can’t because I know you better than that.
71 The way you always chase after me when we get into a fight.
72 When you tell me that you want to wake up next to me everyday and grow old with me.
73 How you respect me and trust me.
74 When you talk about “our house”.
75 How you know I’m mad at you but you try to hug and kiss me anyway.
76 How you’re completely honest about everything.
77 Remembering the time when you were too shy to tell me the truth.
78 The way you look into my eyes.
79 How you always grab my hand first when we’re walking around.
80 When you send me pictures of yourself without me asking so I won’t miss you as much.
81 The way we’re so different but it works so perfectly.
82 The way you kiss me.
83 How you never let me win our “I love you more” fights,
84 How adorable you look when you play with kids.
85 ‘Cause you make my dreams come true.
86 When you said that this is forever.
87 That you promise to marry me someday.
88 How you joke about us getting married.
89 That you use everything I’ve ever given you.
90 Your patience.
91 When at night you say “I wish I were there right now so that you could fall asleep in my arms.”
92 That you wrote me every single day.
93 How you protect me.
94 When you try to resist kissing me but you just can’t.
95 How you can so easily read me like a book.
96 Having this feeling that you’ll always be there.
97 The way to always speak in plural.
98 That give me the kind of feeling people write novels about.
99 Your simple company to don’t make me feel alone.
100 Your silence in my histeric moments.
101 Your faith on me when something rings the door of my insecurities.
102 That you make me remember who I am and what are my dreams.
103 When you make me smile with all my heart and soul.
104 Your hugs and how they’re warm and safe.
105 The way you put your arm just to be sure that I’ll not cross ‘cause maybe I can get hit by a car.
106 How you make me burst into fits of laugther after everything you say, because you really are that funny to me.
107 That I can actually trust you.
108 That you’re close by, even if you though I don’t let anyone get close to me.
109 That you help me enjoy every single moment no matter what.
110 That you’re far from the usual.
111 How you feel like my future whenever I thought of you.
112 When you promise you wouldn’t leave.
113 That I know I can live without you, but I don’t want to.
114 How you showing me what I don’t need anything.
115 That you make me feel part of your own family.
116 How you have those cute fights with your little cousins for me.
117 When you cook for me.
118 How you plain everything to keep me happy.
119 That you’re mine.
120 That I was able to know you.
121 All that I am with you.
122 The way you make me fall more in love every single day.
Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them up, meant we were supposed to be together and I knew it. I knew the very first time I touched him. It was like coming home, only to a home I’d ever known. I was just taking his hand and I knew. It was like magic!
Sometimes you meet somebody and you know that whatever you did before, it must have been right. Nothing could’ve been too bad or gone too far wrong because it led you to this person. You’re that person.
I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I’d open the door you’d smile and while I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here you’d tell me how hard the past days have been, how much you’ve thought about me. And then you’d take me into your arms and then you’d grab my face and kiss me the way you used to and everything would be perfect again.
I can’t explain why, but I’ve never felt this way and I think we should be together forever.